Tom Smith

 

tsmith@stmartins.org

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

©2007

Thomas G. Smith

 

Long as I can see the light…*

 

Blogs from previous months here.

2007 Cancer Blogs

See post for Aug. 9, 2007

See post for July 13, 2007

Posted June 6, 2007

Cancer is a drag, no way around it. With mixed feelings today I have to report that Teresa and I—after a lot of soul-searching—have decided to postpone our Franco-Italian adventure. Discretion, perhaps, is the better part of valor; the main thing I want to do, however, is make sure that when we go, we are able to enjoy Italy and whatever country we might see without the fierce fatigue I have experienced during this round of chemotherapy. Since the last treatment on May 30, it has been a struggle to get up in the morning and go about a daily routine. It is nothing specific regarding pain, just an almost-overwhelming sense of tiredness. That’s no way to enjoy Tuscany or any kind of vacation.

Meanwhile, I believe that the once-every-three-weeks chemotherapy is having its good effects. The intensity of the shoulder and chest pain has decreased noticeably, although I am still taking painkillers. This is a big relief, one that comes close to making up for missing all that fun in Italy and France.

As always, we appreciate your keeping us in your prayers. Today’s news isn’t all that great, but I should never lose sight of the fact that fighting off the cancer is my number one priority. That’s what we’re doing now.

 

Posted July 13, 2007 (a lucky day?)

I am a little behind on my blogging, and there is a postponement to report. I did not have an infusion on July 11. KP called that morning and noted that it would have been only two weeks since my last chemo treatment on June 28, and it was simply too soon.

Lord knows, the side effects this time are aggravating enough so that I did not want to rush things before they tailed off some after the June 28 treatment. The main problem is a severe fatigue. It’s tough to walk across a parking lot and, sometimes, even to take a shower.

A secondary problem is that I lose my sense of taste for a few days after infusion. For a guy who likes to eat as much as I do, that is a real aggravation! Everything during this short period of time tastes a lot like I imagine cardboard must taste, and meals aren’t something to look forward to.

The third thing is that Taxol, the main ingredient in the cancer-fighting mix, has another side effect that affects my ability to communicate. My fingers are numb! And my toes. The fingers—especially those on my right hand—are not paralyzed, but the numbness makes using a keyboard frustrating. I figure my typing speed has been cut about in half. This may not be such a bad thing since it slows my hand speed down to something closer to my brain speed. Perhaps I will make more sense like this.

My next infusion is now scheduled for Wednesday, July 18. Meanwhile, I have an email in to Dr. Goldberg’s office asking if there is any “magic pill” or reasonable drug that can help me with the fatigue. I’ll live with the numbness.

A jarring note in the telephone call postponing the treatment was the warning that my white blood cell count is extremely low and that I should avoid crowds and maybe not go to church. Infection is a real danger. I have also asked if there is anything that can be done to alleviate that situation. If anyone needs to be going to church right now, it’s I!

I have more good days than bad ones with the pain now. I keep to a four-hour day-night regimen with the hydrochodone and use etodolac several times a day. I have discovered that a heating pad is very useful in alleviating the pain at night. Most of the time, I am able to get in my full four hours of sleep between medications.

Dealing with an illness like cancer, it is difficult sometimes making one’s body behave as one would like. I am getting a glimpse of what aging is like, kind of in a fast-forward mode. Thank you for standing by us during this time, and remember that your prayers and thoughts are more important than ever. Thank you.

 

Posted Aug. 9, 2007

It has been a while between blogs. Battle fatigue is part of that, but the main thing is that the chemotherapy combined with the tumor itself pressing on nerves has numbed most of my right hand.  It is amazing what the loss of that hand is to a touch typist. I am now a hunt and peck typist--plus office 2003 does understand some of my dictation.

Nonetheless, I can report that I am feeling good overall and that my pain is under better control than it has been for some time.  I am continuing with the every three weeks schedule for chemotherapy, but with a different drugs.  The fact is that the old drug, Taxol, was no longer doing the job.  So there’s a new drug that hopefully will do a better job.  I cannot recall the name of it off hand, but I can report that I seem to feel an improvement already after yesterday’s chemotherapy session.

There’s nothing other to say than it is hot as blazes in Atlanta and the thermometer is supposed to go to 102 today.  I am comfortable in my tee shirt and working in my home office this afternoon.

I am fortunate to have such patient and competent people working with me at blessed Saint Martin’s. They have made it possible for me to keep working while admittedly short of 100%.

I wish I had some heavier thoughts for you today regarding this war we are having with cancer.  I still feel optimistic, mainly because I am feeling better, and because I know that I have Teresa’s strength along with your prayers and thoughts.  I hope that you will continue to hold me close to your hearts while we continue this session of chemotherapy through November.  Perhaps then we can get restarted on that aborted trip to Europe.  We could use the break.

God bless you while we pray that he does the same for all of us who are suffering our various illnesses.

To be continued…

 (If you wish to correspond via email, please use this address:
wordzwiz@bellsouth.net.)

* Long as I can see the light…

The words below come from “Long as I can see the light,” written by John Fogerty and first appearing on the Creedence Clearwater Revival album, “Cosmo’s Factory,” in 1970.

If it is possible for anyone’s cover of this song to beat CCR, it would be the version by the late Ted Hawkins, recorded on his 1994 album, “The Next Hundred Years.”

 

Put a candle in the window,

'cause I feel I've got to move.
Though I'm going, going,

I'll be coming home soon,
'Long as I can see the light.
Pack my bag and let's get movin',

'cause I'm bound to drift a while.
When I'm gone, gone, you don't have to worry long,
'Long as I can see the light.

Guess I've got that old trav'lin' bone,

'cause this feelin' won't leave me alone.
But I won't, won't be losin' my way, no, no
'Long as I can see the light.

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Oh, Yeah!

Put a candle in the window,

'cause I feel I've got to move.
Though I'm going, going,

I'll be coming home soon,
Long as I can see the light.
Long as I can see the light.
Long as I can see the light.
Long as I can see the light.
Long as I can see the light

 

John Fogerty